An Artist's Evolution: Why art CHOSE me and I didn't choose it.
"Mom! I feel so happy and grateful right now," she said with a BEAMING smile.
Her Mom glanced back through the rear view mirror and said, "Tell me why, honey?"
As the little girl finished buckling her seat belt. She looked up and said, "Because, I found my passion in life. Most people spend their whole life trying to find it, and I got it. I want to be an artist."
9 Years Old. Freckles. Chubby cheeks. Not a care in the world. A pure soul with an un-tarnished heart. She only had one very real intention with her life. To be an artist and that was all.
That little girl was me, and that very moment feels like it was yesterday. Truly, I can feel the light exuding from my chest the very second those words were spoken. In that exact moment I stated with absolute certainty who I was and what I was to become. There was no hesitation. I was an artist!
From 8-11 I began training as an oil painter at a local artist's studio a few hours a week. My teachers taught me many techniques as I dived into painting after painting, creating replicas of some of the world's most infamous art pieces. Monet's Water Lilies, Van Gough's Iris's, Manet's Vases of Flowers.
During this period of training was when the burning desire to be an artist truly struck me. The truth of who I am revealed itself and I new without a shadow of a doubt that this was my purpose. I was created to create. I was created to love what I was doing and to get lost in the process. Oils fascinated me. The smells, the colors, the mixing, the patience, the shadows, shapes, the application, the texture... There was so much to learn at the time and I enjoyed soaking up the evolution of the process.
I left this studio and began my home practice with a private teacher twice a week. Here I studied from ages 11-12 mastering the art of still life's. Little did I know shortly after turning thirteen I would not pick up a paintbrush or receive any training for the 10 years that followed.
It is funny isn’t it? How you grow, life happens, things get a little broken and your 9 year old self's wisdom seems to dissipate into thin air as quickly as a shadow when the lights turn back on.
Painting was something I became so good at, so in love with, that rather than getting closer to it in my time of sorrow and change I went the opposite direction. Now that I reflect back as a woman I see that art became something I was not worthy of. A source of Unconditional Love that I became scared to give myself.
Art became judgment. The expression of creativity became an energy inside of me that was stale, unmoving, unused and eventually non-existent.
During this time the artist in me was slowly suppressed year after year. When you silence your passion for long enough naturally the energy of the divine has no avenue and no way of streaming through you. You are blocked and therefore produce no authentic or real work. Wood Burning has become a stream of this divine source to and through me. It has become a vehicle for god's love to begin really living inside of me again.
At 24 years old. I have re-identified myself as an artist. Wood Burning gives me the ability to be that little 9 year old again. I get happy, excited, passionate, innovative... and best of all every creation is 100% authentic. No copies of another artists work, no paints, no rules. Just very intentionally placed lines that create a vortex of an image. The wood gives a natural feel, smell, and foundation for the building of many unique compilations of lines and patterns I like to use.
My Artwork and Wood Burning is very spiritual practice to me as you can tell. It signifies something so much greater than me and you. It is an avenue for people to feel something bigger than just something they are looking at. My art is an opportunity to begin tapping into your own journey and discovery of the vast inner world that exists within you. You can see mine in the wood I burn. What would your wood burning look like?