6.16.16- Back to the Basics: Grateful to be alive, happy & healthy
Went on a walk this morning. Enjoyed the waves and the sunshine that has decided to grace San Diego with its beautiful presence. Hallelujah!
Walking home barefoot and sandy toed I realized something. Something very valuable to understand being that I have OOOO so many years left to live. :)
I understand that some days I am going to be physically sick in my life. It is just a part of life... and on those days I probably and most likely will have shit to do, will have work to accomplish, will have food to make and teeth to brush, artwork to do, a partner to smile at, etc.... As much as I can be angry at being sick or frustrated and in a bad mood about it I should really be asking myself... WHY? Why choose to be make the experience of it this way? Where is that going to get me? What is that going to accomplish?
I am still going to have to get up and get the shit done anyways so whats the point of doing it angry? Which proposed then my next question... Is anger really going to support my healing process and get me better faster?
The answer is no. (Of Course) But anyways let's talk about the background story.
The past few days I got really sick. The congested head, nose, and throat. The cough, the headache. It was a plethora of seriously aggravating feelings that tested all of my patience and kindness. :) My down time was really absent being that I work full time currently and had a 9-5 to show up to with a team that absolutely depends on my presence. Anyways, it just so happens that the few days I happen to be feeling this icky and unable to breathe out of my nose becomes the busiest Monday + Tuesday we've ever had plus we become down a team member. With an employee who called in sick last minute we were short staffed, short tempered, and at least me personally was ready to have a melt down.
I took this as a sign from the Universe. Truly. Where can i learn a lesson here?
With my adrenals worked I got off of work in worse shape then I went in. :( I felt trapped by my symptoms, and upset and angry that I did not have the time and the relaxation to heal from whatever it was my body was fighting. A continuous flow of people, back to back tasks I had to get down... it was just too much. Then I realized something...
Being angry is not and will not support my happiness, nor will it support my body trying to heal itself from all of this tension.
My job... well it is what it is... angry or not I still need to show up... I still need to work and that just is what it is right now. My boyfriend... he will always be sleeping next to me... is it worth it to be inconsiderate of his feelings just because I am sick? I can fight it or I can see this situation for what it is. A BIG GIANT LESSON.
A lesson teaching me not only to value my good days as the biggest most amazing blessing of all time... But that I can either show up in fear or in love.
I love myself... I value myself enough to set aside my aggravations and show up the best I know how. Being sick is temporary it is a tiny lapse of time I have in this life.
Just a few thoughts I have been having. Feeling blessed and extremely thankful that my days are lived as a healthy woman who recognizes the power of my thoughts, and of kindness + love. Love yourself enough to let go of the physical attachments and simply live in love and kindness.